Flames
When I think of flames my mind always goes immediately to the eternal flame. It can be a symbol of remembrance and honor at a memorial - everlasting light. The eternal flame always in the forefront of my mind is love. The flame of the divine and most definitely between lovers.
“He was now in the state of fire that she loved. She wanted to be burnt.”
Anais Nin
We’ve all heard it a million times, “like a moth to the flame”. We are all moths, the light we’re drawn to just comes from different places. Fire is used so often as a metaphor for love and passion. The old saying of carrying a torch for someone can date back to ancient times when a torch was used to light the brides hearth on her wedding night and this same torch was then used to light the hearth in her new home. If we say that someone is “carrying a torch” for someone else - that phrase illustrates for us that there is a a light that still burns and this light is different . It is stronger and brighter than all of the rest and it will never be extinguished. Hearing my mom say “that’s your brother’s old flame” made me understand immediately even though I was still a kid that she wasn’t just someone he used to know. This connection is more intense than all of the others and time hasn’t diminished it, the fire still burns. Chills.
Twin Flames; this term is used too much in spirituality in my opinion. I do believe in the concept but I don’t subscribe to all of the beliefs about it. I think everyone has a different journey that may be a twin flame journey to them and it does not have to follow a super specific blueprint. The concept is that we are twin souls bound together and as we become, we break apart. We know in our depths, in the root of our existence that we will find our other half - our twin flame and so it begins. We can have relationships and encounters and yet there is a part of us that remains unawakened. I think it’s like cooking and stopping for a taste, you know it’s missing something, but you can’t quite put your finger on what that ingredient is. As soon as you do taste the right thing, you know immediately - “that’s it! Of course that is what was missing, how could I not have been able to tell and now that I’ve tasted it, I can’t ever go back to not making it this way again !” When we connect with our twin flame, it can be challenging and they’re often our mirror as they show us our light and our shadows. It’s a deep, intense and passionate connection and it’s the same for them, your twin flame is equally affected by you. I feel that it is that moth to the flame vibe - it doesn’t feel like it’s up to you. It’s a life force all on it’s own and it’s happening no matter how much you protest. This connection doesn’t need your permission or anyone’s blessing to exist, it just is. We can learn some brutal lessons about life and see ourselves be or love or hurt in ways we didn’t know we were capable of. The thinking is that our twin flame also helps us heal parts of ourselves through challenges and or passion but I am not so sure about that. This journey is seldom easy and at often times it’s not fast moving and does not usually fit into the lives we are already leading. When it comes knocking we often deny it to ourselves and others -but deep down in our soul, we know. I do think it is other worldly and not up to us and it is rooted in the commonality of love and passion and an eerie familiarity that some argue could not possibly be there. To that I say, if you know - you know. I don’t feel like it is always so painful the whole way through as some suggest. I think it’s a beautiful, strong but delicate priceless thing and I’m awestruck that I have experienced it and I’ve been acknowledged as the same for another.
“Oh she doth teach the torches to burn bright”
Shakespeare
It is so important that we follow our hearts and our passions. That we fly into the flame when we are able as we feel almost carried along. There is a lightness and an ease and flow in the beginning of the follow and we are energized! Life and opinions and duty and responsibility are all perched to take us off that path because we feel and we have been taught to believe, that it is ether or. We can’t possibly follow the passionate path and fly to the flame. We will get burned and that is reckless and ridiculous!! We are living in a fantasy world, right? You can’t have your passion - be it work, play or flesh and still walk the line, take out the garbage, pay the mortgage, have a successful career all while having that stupid smile on your face, right? I feel like this is so wrong. Why does life have to be duty, drudgery, pain and struggle, doing without and denying ourselves pleasure? It’s not supposed to be that way. Why have we morphed into believing that the absence of love and passion is admirable and of course you have to have a family and raise them right no time for play or love. We wear our sacrifices and the things and people we gave up like a badge of honor. We’re miserable but we saved the day for 25 other people. I have witnessed firsthand that when people are laughing and playing or sharing happy news like they’ve fallen hopelessly in love or they’re going on an impromptu road trip to nowhere there is always a “shusher” to try to talk them out of it and suck the life right out of them. “You’re being ridiculous, your too loud, it’s too soon, are you sure you are in love with them?” “Why - “I don’t think…what will everyone….” and so it goes. That old tired song sang by the jealous and the fearful. I’d love to change everyone’s minds and see a planet of happy people that didn’t miss out on love, opportunity or adventure! I go to work every day, I pay my bills, my taxes, I vote and I take care of business whatever that may be on any given day and I 100 percent believe in living your passion but I don’t always. I am sometimes unable to go all in because I need to do certain things so that my house runs and my family is ok and has everything they need but I am learning not to abandon it for too long. We are all much happier and more productive and energized when we are living our passions and making time for them and ourselves. When I lean into who I am and show up as her rather than attempting the impossible task of trying to please everyone - it’s great. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve dealt with more than my share of hate and sabotage that ramped up the happier I became and trust, that’s enough to scare the strongest of us into submission but I fought it and I’m back to stay. I am working on allowing more passion and play and joy into my every day and I think the warmth of the sun and the arrival of the summer months definitely helps with that free feeling. I am outside as much as possible and there is nothing like sinking my bare feet down into the soft cool grass while I sit under the mothering shade of the maple tree that I planted as I watch the birds and squirrels and rabbits resting and relaxing in the sanctuary that is my property. As I write this, I feel so grounded and connected to the earth and honestly I’m getting that the earth longs for my barefeet just as much as I long to place them there. How do we follow our passion and fly to the flame without totally burning up? I’m working on doing just that and I am not dipping my toe in what I love, I have promised myself that I’m diving in and staying out of my own way. Stay lit up for what you love, know who you want to be and show up as them. If you’re feeling bad, don’t give in. I know it’s hard but just try to do something each day that gives you even the gentlest of pleasure. Definitely get out into nature as much as you can and just be still. Make lists of what you love, who you love and what brings you joy and don’t forget gratitude. Awaken and reveal again to yourself all of the things about you that you’ve forgotten or let wither because of the common lie that passion and responsibility can’t coexist. When you show up clothed in your passions and pursue your desires as you take care of your day to day, you are the moth and your dancing closer to your personal flame and soon you could be thriving and doing and being. You can start living your passion because it’s not either or and you’re allowed and now you’re awake and you remember. Fall in love with yourself first and then pick up that torch once again for that person or thing that is the object of your desire.
“The time has come to turn your heart into a temple of fire”
Rumi
Love XO